Captain Lewis returns back to Camp Mandan around noon with temperatures still below zero. Six hunters are butchering the meat at the hunt camp. They'll process all they can carry on four horses. The Missouri River is frozen solid and large bison herds cross without breaking through. The men who have frostbite are improving daily.



* You love toasted ravioli with Budweiser beer.
* "Vacation" is a choice between Silver Dollar City and Lake of the Ozarks.
* You can find Pestalozzi Street by aroma alone.
* You can get anywhere in 20 minutes, except on highway 40.
* You know what "Party Cove" is, and where the "lake" is.
* You still can't believe the Arena is gone.
* Your first question to a new person is, "Where did you go to High School?"
* You know at least one person who's gotten hurt at Johnson Shut-ins.
* You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
* You think the four major food groups are Beef, Pork, Budweiser
and Imo's.
* You know there are really only three salad dressings: Imo's, Zia's and Rich and Charlie's.
* You'll pay for your kid to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
* You would rather have a root canal without anesthetic than drive on Manchester on a Saturday afternoon.
* It just doesn't seem like a wedding without mostaciolli. AND YOU PRONOUNCE IT 'MUSKACHOLLI'. (The balance of the menu is ham, boiled roast beef, string beans with ham and of course pitchers of Busch Bavarian...classy weddings have Bud)
* You know, within a three-mile radius, where another St. Louisan grew up as soon as they open their mouth.
* You know what a Pork Steak is...and what kind of sauce to put on it!
* Everyone in your family has floated the Meramec River at least once.
* A hoosier is someone that lives just south of Chouteau, not a person from Indiana.
* You have made fun of Mike Shannon and tried to imitate him ordering another cold, frosty Busch Bavarian Beer.
* You have listened to Mike's broadcast on KMOX, while watching the game on TV and wonder what game he is watching
* A tear forms in your eye as someone mentions their favorite Jack Buck story.
* You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."
* Your favorite summer treat is handed to you upside-down
* You bleed Blue between September and May (except when the idiots are striking).
* You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from St. Louis.



Most folks think of mistletoe as an excuse for smooching around the holiday, and today, there probably aren't too many people who have actually seen anything but plastic mistletoe!

There is a real plant that is the true mistletoe. Several types of mistletoe exist, including American Mistletoe and European Mistletoe. These two are different, but related, species of parasitic shrubs. Both have small, leathery leaves and translucent, white berries.

American Mistletoe, Phoradendron sp., can be found hanging around trees from New Jersey to Florida and west to southern Illinois and Texas. Though you can sometimes purchase seed of the American Mistletoe, it is generally not successful in cultivation. Though these plants do have chlorophyll, as parasites they meet their nutritional needs by tapping into the flow of water and minerals of other plants, particularly trees, such as apple, hawthorn, linden and oak. The seeds actually germinate on the host plant and tap in immediately.

Though it may be great fun to catch the object of your affection under the mistletoe, both the berries and foliage can cause severe digestive upset if eaten and in rare instances may be fatal. Now that could explain why plastic mistletoe has become so popular!



The poinsettia, the most popular holiday plant, is best known as the plant with bright red flowers on a green background. But what most people think of as the flowers are actually colored bracts or leaves, which surround a small, yellowish-green structure that is the true flower.

Today's poinsettia is much improved from the poinsettia of even five years ago, thanks to plant breeders. Although red is still the most popular color, pink-, salmon- and white-colored bracts are also available. Even speckled pink, red and white bracts are now available in cultivars, such as Jingle Bells and Monet. Even more recent on the scene include those with variegated green and yellow leaves, bracts that have sharply pointed lobes that resemble holly leaves and a few that have ruffled bracts.

New cultivars tend to have a greater number of large flowers on more compact plants. Poinsettia trees are also popular as are hanging baskets. Although, like many other florists' plants, dwarf poinsettias can be found that pack a lot of color in a small package.
The long-lasting nature of today's poinsettias can only be enjoyed if they receive the proper care in your home. The best way to extend their beauty is to match, as closely as possible, the conditions in which they were produced. Poinsettias are raised in greenhouses where cool temperatures can be maintained between 60 -75 F with high relative humidity and high light intensity.

These conditions will be difficult if not impossible to match in the home. Natural light intensity tends to be quite low and of shorter duration in the winter. And as we heat the air indoors, the air becomes drier so that relative humidity often drops below the level of plant and people comfort.

Make the most of the situation by placing your plant near a sunny window, but do not allow the foliage or flowers to contact cold window glass. Artificial light may be needed for extended growing periods. A humidifier will increase both plant and people comfort. Grouping plants together on a pebble tray will help raise humidity around the plants themselves. Both hot and cold drafts can cause leaf drop, so avoid placing plants near doors or heating vents.

Both under and over watering can decrease the life of your plant. Plants that are allowed to wilt will begin to brown along the edges of the leaves or may drop leaves entirely. Watering too often will prevent proper aeration of the soil, and roots will begin to die and decay. Poinsettias should be watered when the top inch of soil feels dry to the touch. If your pot was wrapped in foil, be sure to poke a few holes in through the bottom to allow water to drain away. And if you're giving a poinsettia as a gift, be sure to protect it from frigid outdoor temperatures during transport. If you have several errands do not keep the plants in an unheated car because damage will occur instead drop off your plants at home before running the errands.

The poinsettia is often listed as a poisonous plant; however, there is no scientific evidence to support this conclusion. Even studies where rats were fed poinsettias, the rats showed no evidence of poisoning. Some people are sensitive to the milky sap in the plant and may develop a skin irritation if they are in contact with that sap. It is always best to keep plants out of the reach of children and pets.



A guy responds to a job position at the city zoo. The ad mentioned the salary but not what he would be doing. He finds out that the zoo's gorilla had unexpectedly passed away.The zoo had just spent millions on promotions which focused on the gorilla and now they needed a gorilla.

The guy really needed the job and the money was good so he
accepted. Everyday he would put on the gorilla suit, hang out in his cage and be the gorilla. After a while he started enjoying himself. He would scare little kids, roar at the crowds, and eat bananas and stuff. GORILLA THINGS. As time wore on he became the main attraction at the zoo. He would swing on his trees and vines, and the people loved him.

One particularly busy Saturday he was swinging around and accidentally swings over his fence and lands in the lions cage. The lion slowly opens his eyes and sees the gorilla.The lion begins to stalk. The lion, now drooling and wide awake, slowly approaches the gorilla who is backed up against the fence.

The lion is ready to jump, then the gorilla started yelling, "Help! Help! I'm not a gorilla. I'm a man! help, help !!

"Then the lion said, "Shut-up stupid, or we'll both get fired!"